It's interesting that you mention groping. The tort of battery is evaluated according to an objective standard: would a reasonable person consider the contact offensive? It is defined by social norms: grabbing someone's ass is offensive, bumping into someone on a crowded subway is not.

So your point fails even within the four corners of your analogy. That secretary will have a pretty tough time arguing that her boss's handshake was sexual battery, even if she belongs to an obscure religion that considers hands to be sexual objects.