I have a love/hate relationship with SF after living here for many many years since 2000.
I'm from NYC originally (and finally back) and here are my thoughts after shuttling back and forth for many years.
PROS
1. It's probably the safest, relatively big (~ 1M) city that I've ever been to. And I've traveled a lot throughout US and the world. If something bad happens to you in SF, you've really, really should hone your street smarts. And no, Tenderloin is not dangerous at all as I've lived a couple of blocks from there for few years.
2. Probably the only other city (NYC is the other) where you truly have a diverse selection of food. That's pretty impressive for such a small city.
3. It's probably one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to. I love the rolling hills and some great views especially of GG bridge and Bay Bridge. I wanted to move to SF for a long time, and it took a while for me to sink in that I was actually living in SF.
CONS
1. It's a city of wannabes. Basically everyone lives in the future (they "wanna/hoping to" have a startup, or "do art" etc). Ambitious people are good, but I feel SF definitely goes a bit far in this regard. For startups, it's due to the availability of venture capital in the city, where you don't need to be profitable from day one. In comparison, New York is about hustling and making money FROM DAY 1, not tomorrow, not in few years.
2. The bohemian/alternative/smug feel of the city. South Park had a funny episode about this. For example, people drive Prius in order to "show off" how green and environmentally friendly they are. Some of my good friends (non hipsters or art people, etc) only eat organic and only shop at Trader's Joe or Whole Foods. Apparently Safeway is not good enough. Organic is good, but try going to a restaurant with someone who is stubbornly organic about food content there, and will refuse to go. I mean come on, you're not gonna die if you eat non-organic once in a while!!
3. It's too laid back. If you love New York or East Coast in general, I think you'll find the slowed pace of the city irritating. In some ways this is a consequence of (1).
4. Nobody grows up in the city. This is a big one. I've seen some girls who are 35 and still wear clothing that a early 20s girl would wear. Same for guys. You can be 40+ or 50 and still live with roommates, etc. I've always felt that a cutoff for living with roommates is like 30 or maybe even early 30s, but 40+ is a bit too much.
5. The weather plain sucks. You have windy/sunny-turning-to-foggy weather (65-55F) pretty much all year except about 2-3 times a year when a heatwave (75F+) lasting about 3-4 days comes in and you can finally walk around with a t-shirt at night. There's really two seasons: dry and wet. I respect East Coast's weather much more because I know that in June I will be rocking a t-shirt all day and night and don't need to carry a jacket "just in case". Mark Twain said the coldest winter he'd ever been to was a summer in SF. SF's summer months are typically the coldest in the whole country.
6. Don't get me started on dating. As a guy, I still stick to my theory that it's probably one of the WORST cities to hook up I've ever been to. Most of the places are just full of guys which makes sense since West Coast has statistically more single guys than single girls. East Coast is a bit better in this regard. I always told myself if ever I move back, and that's a big if, I'll have to be married or have a serious girlfriend. And if you're a girl, don't get too excited; I've been told from female friends of mine that the guys are no prize either.
What do you mean "grows up?" If you're a 35 year-old single woman looking to not be single any more then you'll probably wear some sexy clothing once in awhile, especially when you're out in public.
Also, if you're 35 and single of either gender, there are plenty of reasons to want to live with roommates rather than by yourself. It's much cheaper and more efficient, plus you have friendship, company, sharing of responsibility, and someone to call the ambulance if you ever have an emergency.
One of the worst reason of all to live by yourself is out of some vague idea that you're supposed to because that's what adults do. If you are single, living alone gets lonely really fast. At least, it sure as hell did when I lived on my own in my 20s. And is NYC really any different in this regard? Boston certainly isn't.
One of the most surprising things I've learned in the last few years is that american cultural norms of how one should live one's life really do have at least some upsides, and "growing up" can be a lot of fun.
And these things are big - changing how you dress, and who you live with, and where, will change your life. But looking at these things logically, and predicting outcomes can be hard.
I don't make analytical choices about these questions any more, I've found my gut better than my brain here. And if you want "grow up" not doing so because you might be lonely, or have a hard time making ends meet seems like a poor decision to me. On the other hand if your gut says live with roomies when you're 50, I'd advocate that as well.
In general I think you've taken a bunch of (mostly true) statements about SF and sorted them into "pro" and "con" in non-sensical way. Many of the things that you found annoying about SF, I find attractive. Full commentary....
YOUR PROS
1. SF does feel very safe to me, although I don't know about the stats. New York feels pretty safe to me too, and so does Seattle...
2. Food in SF is awesome. Yum.
3. I actually think that SF itself is pretty ugly in most parts, though that's just my aesthetics. The surrounding area (Marin, the water, the drive down 280) is undeniably beautiful.
YOUR CONS
1. Agreed, but it comes with the PRO that people are trying to change the world, not just make a buck. The worship of money is precisely what I don't like about New York.
2. This is true. SF is crunchy.
3. Too laid back - or just laid back enough? It's not really a con. For some people, more laid back is good.
4. I'm not sure I agree that this is particularly true. People don't seem any more or less mature in SF than anywhere else I've lived. Which is to say, pretty immature. Could it be the social groups you've been part of in each city?
5. Again, I wouldn't call this a pro or a con exactly...personally, I love San Francisco's weather. I hate the scorching summers and freezing winters of the north east.
6. I know dating is supposed to be hard in SF due to gender imbalance, but in practice I don't know anyone who wants to be dating who can't find someone. That could just be my social circle, but I find my one anecdote more persuasive than one stereotype. People definitely don't dress well in SF (see #3).
7. Is this not an issue keenly felt in Brooklyn as well? I'm not sure San Francisco suffers from this particularly more than any city drawing large numbers of young people. And again, this isn't really a downside. Don't like hipsters? Don't hang out with them.
I can't disagree with much you've said. I was born and raised in San Jose. For most of my life, San Francisco was always been the place I thought was fun to visit, but didn't want to live in. I live here now and it's better than I thought, but I still have issues.
Crime -- As far as big cities go, New York & San Francisco are both abnormally safe. They regularly rank as two of the safest large cities in the country.
Food -- They both have a diverse selection of awesome food.
Beauty -- San Francisco is nestled in one of the most beautiful parts of the Bay Area. The scenery is awesome. The city is way too dirty though. I'm very liberal, but San Francisco is too liberal even for me. The city has a problem with litter which it needs to address, but the bigger problem is the homelessness. San Francisco actually has a homeless lobby whose actions ensure that homelessness remains a problem. They believe people have the right to be homeless, live on the street, and panhandle (frequently in ways that strikes fear into the heart of tourists). There are plenty of humane policies that can help reduce this problem, but the city is so liberal that policies like "Care Not Cash" are shouted down as if they were modern day Nuremberg Laws.
Hipsters/Wannabes/Bohemians/etc. -- Definitely can go too far and be annoying at times, but its also part of the culture of San Francisco that I can find charming. Like everything: in moderation. New York has its own version of this though -- the "I'm richer than you" syndrome -- the incessant need to buy ridiculously priced clothes, hand bags, accessories (women AND men), the name dropping, the pretentiousness, etc. Get over yourself.
Too laid back -- Probably. New York can be too high strung. I enjoy both in moderation.
Weather -- Wow. I'd much rather have SF's moderate weather, even if it is a little chilly at times, than NYC's hot, humid summers and cold, icy winters. But if SF gets too chilly for you, you're almost always a short drive away from a micro-climate that's beautiful.
Dating -- Well I can't complain as a gay guy. It doesn't get much better than SF. We have a few great spots in the whole country and I'm fortunate to live in one of them.
Some things I think you left out --
Blunt & Rude Honesty vs. Nice Dishonesty -- As a Bay Area native, one of the things I absolutely love about NYC is people's blunt honesty, even if it is rude at times. At least you know where you stand with people. On the West Coast, people will smile & pretend like they like you or agree with you, even if they don't. And then when you leave, they'll talk about you behind your back. This can be especially painful in the startup world when you're raising money and few will tell you the real reason why they're not convinced by your pitch.
Proximity to Destinations -- San Francisco is anywhere from minutes to just a couple hours away from beaches, beautiful mountains and camping spots, skiing, the best wine country in the U.S., legendary national parks, etc.
Suit vs. Jeans/T-Shirt/Hoodie -- I much prefer SF's dress code to NYC's.
Diversity -- Yes, both cities are very diverse. But I think San Francisco is more of a melting pot. New York seems like it still has neighborhoods that are very stratified racially/ethnically.
---
Anyways, I really love both cities for different reasons and I don't think I have a favorite. I hope someday I'll be able to move to New York and really live in it.
I'm from NYC originally (and finally back) and here are my thoughts after shuttling back and forth for many years.
PROS
1. It's probably the safest, relatively big (~ 1M) city that I've ever been to. And I've traveled a lot throughout US and the world. If something bad happens to you in SF, you've really, really should hone your street smarts. And no, Tenderloin is not dangerous at all as I've lived a couple of blocks from there for few years.
2. Probably the only other city (NYC is the other) where you truly have a diverse selection of food. That's pretty impressive for such a small city.
3. It's probably one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to. I love the rolling hills and some great views especially of GG bridge and Bay Bridge. I wanted to move to SF for a long time, and it took a while for me to sink in that I was actually living in SF.
CONS
1. It's a city of wannabes. Basically everyone lives in the future (they "wanna/hoping to" have a startup, or "do art" etc). Ambitious people are good, but I feel SF definitely goes a bit far in this regard. For startups, it's due to the availability of venture capital in the city, where you don't need to be profitable from day one. In comparison, New York is about hustling and making money FROM DAY 1, not tomorrow, not in few years.
2. The bohemian/alternative/smug feel of the city. South Park had a funny episode about this. For example, people drive Prius in order to "show off" how green and environmentally friendly they are. Some of my good friends (non hipsters or art people, etc) only eat organic and only shop at Trader's Joe or Whole Foods. Apparently Safeway is not good enough. Organic is good, but try going to a restaurant with someone who is stubbornly organic about food content there, and will refuse to go. I mean come on, you're not gonna die if you eat non-organic once in a while!!
3. It's too laid back. If you love New York or East Coast in general, I think you'll find the slowed pace of the city irritating. In some ways this is a consequence of (1).
4. Nobody grows up in the city. This is a big one. I've seen some girls who are 35 and still wear clothing that a early 20s girl would wear. Same for guys. You can be 40+ or 50 and still live with roommates, etc. I've always felt that a cutoff for living with roommates is like 30 or maybe even early 30s, but 40+ is a bit too much.
5. The weather plain sucks. You have windy/sunny-turning-to-foggy weather (65-55F) pretty much all year except about 2-3 times a year when a heatwave (75F+) lasting about 3-4 days comes in and you can finally walk around with a t-shirt at night. There's really two seasons: dry and wet. I respect East Coast's weather much more because I know that in June I will be rocking a t-shirt all day and night and don't need to carry a jacket "just in case". Mark Twain said the coldest winter he'd ever been to was a summer in SF. SF's summer months are typically the coldest in the whole country.
6. Don't get me started on dating. As a guy, I still stick to my theory that it's probably one of the WORST cities to hook up I've ever been to. Most of the places are just full of guys which makes sense since West Coast has statistically more single guys than single girls. East Coast is a bit better in this regard. I always told myself if ever I move back, and that's a big if, I'll have to be married or have a serious girlfriend. And if you're a girl, don't get too excited; I've been told from female friends of mine that the guys are no prize either.
7. Pretentious Hipsters. Need I say more?